I thought this blog from the Shaklee Health Wise Blog would be fitting! My cousin conquered beast cancer and I’m proud of her for being strong and diligent though it all!
When women get breast cancer they become the focus of attention (as it should be), but what gets less attention is how their loved ones’ lives are turned upside down with this diagnosis. The difficulty for any caregiver is how to be truly helpful to someone who is dealing with breast cancer.
Some of us have a tendency to want to look for solutions and fix things (which is a good trait), but for many cancer is beyond their knowledge which can leave them feeling inadequate and unsure how to help. Supporting someone you love who is going through any serious disease can be a challenging and confusing time, so let’s look at specific suggestions of how to best support someone with breast cancer.
It should be noted here that men can develop breast cancer, but the numbers are very low. The lifetime risk for men is one-tenth of one percent (or about 1 percent of all breast cancers). Men should check their breasts for lumps, just as women should.
How to best support someone with breast cancer:
Change: The first thing to understand about a diagnosis of cancer is that things are going to change. Women are faced with thoughts of their own mortality and this alone can bring about dramatic change. There may be changes in which foods she wants to eat, how much rest she needs, how much work she can get done around the house, and how she feels about herself, especially sexually. Women may fear how you will view them if they need to have a mastectomy, so it is helpful to tell her that you care for her as a person and want her to make the right decisions for her future health.
Emotions: Every woman will react differently to her diagnosis. Some are fearful, some angry, some sad. The most likely scenario is that a woman will experience all of these emotions over the course of dealing with this disease. As a caregiver it is important to understand the variety of emotions and to try to not take any of them personally. Find ways to remind her of your love and caring, that you are trying to understand and are there for her in whatever way she needs.
Decisions: There can be lots of decisions one has to make when diagnosed with cancer, or any serious disease; from choosing the right specialists, to what procedures to have done, to which medications to take. Choosing the best course is a major source of anxiety in women with breast cancer. It is best to start early with a discussion of how you are going to make these decisions and what role you as the caregiver can provide. Your job is not to be a medical expert, but to listen and to share thoughts, feelings, and opinions. Help her weigh the choices, but let her make the decision. Ultimately, the most important thing is to support whatever decision she makes.
Advocate: One of the great ways to support someone going through breast cancer is to go with her to every appointment. It helps to have someone else in the room to hear, take notes, and ask questions. You can also function as an advocate helping her get what she needs
Being a good caregiver is definitely a learning process. Don’t expect to always “get it right” and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Most breast cancer specialists will have an array of various specialists of different types whom you can call or make appointments with. It may be helpful to remind your loved one about reaching out to family members or other trusted confidantes, including spiritual advisors to help navigate difficult times. While you are not the only support, you are an important one—so take care of yourself too!
Have a healthy and productive day!
MJ
Shaklee, 57 years of natural prevention: http://mjshealthyway.com
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